Another Place to Fall
by oypoodle
Summary: AU Roy leaves Pam and shes heartbroken...and cant afford her apartment by herself. What happens when a new worker comes to Dunder Mifflin and hes got no where to stay.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own NBC, The Office, or any of the characters affiliated with the show. No infringement is intended.

Summary: AU Roy leaves Pam months before they are to get married. Pam can no longer afford to keep her apartment by herself but a new transfer is looking for a place to stay.

Another Place to Fall

Pam felt her heart drop. Literally and completely plummet, pushing all organs out of the way in a mad rush for the bottom of her soul. She braced her hand on the counter top, letting her purse drop to the ground.

"You're what?"

She put the hand that wasn't bracing her on her forehead, rubbing gentle circles, trying to calm down. This wasn't happening. This just wasn't-

"I'm leaving Pam."

Roy was standing in front of her, a bag slung over his shoulder, looking more uncomfortable and upset than she did. He couldn't meet her eyes and was shuffling awkwardly back and forth.

"I didn't want to do it like this. But you got home early. I wasn't expecting-"

"To have to see me? Were you just going to leave a note?"

She let her hand drop and heaved a sigh. He was clenching and unclenching the hand that held the bad on his shoulder. Her eyes widened when she realized that was exactly what he was planning on doing.

"Seriously Roy? Ten years and all I would have gotten is a note?"

He took a step back as she raised her voice. She breathed out heavily and forced herself to calm down. But it wasn't working. She couldn't breathe. She could feel her heart down in her stomach somewhere, rolling around and shattering into a million pieces.

"But we are supposed to get married in two months. Are you sure this just isn't a phase or something?"

"I'm sure." He mumbled it and averted his eyes to the fridge behind her head. "I just, I can't be here anymore. I can't commit to this relationship. It isn't fair to me and it isn't fair to you. I'm sorry. I just, I-"

He didn't finish his sentence. He shuffled backwards through the door, his bag swinging loosely over his shoulder. The door slammed shut with alarming alacrity. Pam jumped at the noise.

She was alone.

Her breathing came quicker and her vision blurred. She sank to the floor of her kitchen and let out heaving sobs. She cried until her face was swollen and she forgot what time it was, what day it was.

She curled up into a ball; her knees tucked tightly into her chest and wished away the pain. When that didn't work and her sobs had turned into hiccups of sorrow, she crawled over to the cabinet by the dishwasher and took out the wine she was saving for a romantic weekend dinner.

She popped the cork and took a swig. No need for formalities now.

She could feel the shift inside of her. The sadness and sorrow was slowly morphing into something else. It was making way for a stronger, more powerful emotion.

Bitterness and anger was forcing its way through her body like a drug.

She took another sip of wine and laid back down on the floor, her hair spread around her like an oriental fan.

Two more drunken gulps of wine and she was out.

-

Pounding headache.

Pam groaned on the floor and rolled over, burying her head in the crook of her arm. She had no idea why she was on the floor, or even who she was for that matter. She let out another loud groan in the silent kitchen.

It all came rushing back. Roy leaving. Her crawled up on the floor crying. The wine.

She let out a sigh and braced herself on the floor, lifting up slowly. She winced as moving cause pain to shoot through her stiff back and neck. The kitchen floor wasn't the ideal place for sleeping.

Once she was on her feet, she reached out a hand to brace herself on the counter as the room revolved quickly around her.

The bathroom tile was cold on her stocking feet. She looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. Her mascara had washed down her face from all the crying and dried through the night. Her eyes were red and swollen, as if they were just waiting for another fit of tears to overcome her. Her hair had long since fallen from the clip that usually held it so neatly in place, and was sticking up at odd angles.

She reached out a hand and touched her reflection softly. She didn't recognize that person. That person was sad and cold and lost. That person was broken and alone.

She was alone.

-

She snuck into the office as quietly as possible, holding the door behind her. She was well over two hours late and dealing with Dwight was the last thing she wanted to.

But deal she had to.

"Pam, you're late." He popped out of the shadows and she jumped, putting her hand to her heart instinctively. She let out a short breath of air and reopened her eyes, walking behind her desk and collapsing into her chair.

He put his hands on his hops and raised an eyebrow.

"You know, Dunder Mifflin by-laws state that if an employee is late to work without a viable excuse, then some of their pay can be reduced for the week in which their absence occurred."

Pam didn't answer. She just held his gaze with weary, worn eyes.

Dwight seemed to grow flustered with her lack of response. "Well?"

"Well what, Dwight?"

"Do you have an excuse?"

She smiled slightly. "No, Dwight, I don't. I overslept." She figured 'I was passed out drunk on my kitchen floor after my fiancée of ten years walked out' wouldn't be any more acceptable than the idea that she overslept. Which she did, kind of.

He was infuriated by her answer. She could see the color rise in his cheeks and his glasses fog slightly. "Dunder Mifflin is not your playground Pam. Your pay will by deducted."

"What does that even mean? Dunder Mifflin is not my playground?" She squinted her eyes at him as she swiveled back and forth in her chair. A small smile haunted her features.

He heaved a heavy sigh. "Your pay. Will be. Deducted."

"Deduct away Dwight."

He stormed away, throwing his body into his chair, forcing it to move backwards several feet. Phyllis glared at him as it bounced into hers uncomfortably. Dwight muttered an expletive under his breath and went back to pounding furiously on his keyboard.

Pam watched with amusement that didn't quite reach her eyes. She pulled off her coat and started listening to the messages she missed in the morning. She had barely gotten through her third one when a shadow loomed over her again. She let out a sigh. Her patience was thin enough today.

"Dwight, honestly, I do not care that you are deducting my pay because I seriously doubt you even have that authority. Now kindly go back to your hobbit hole and leave me alone."

There was a pause and then a slight cough. Pam looked up to see an unfamiliar man with shaggy hair and easily six feet tall. He gave her a small smile. "Uh, my name is Jim. Halpert. I'm the new sales guy."

He held out his hand over the desk for her to shake. Her cheeks reddened as his large hand wrapped around her small, frail one.

She forced a small smile. "Oh."


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh."

He released her hand where it dropped to the desktop with a dull thud. He pulled back his hands and drummed them idly on the edge of the plastic coated wood.

"So, I'm supposed to meet Michael?" He seemed to have given up on the fact that she would introduce herself.

"Oh." She winced in embarrassment again. "Right, of course." She forced a small smile. "I'll just call in and let him know you are here. Could you hold on for one second?"

"Sure thing." He gave her another smile as she dialed the extension to Michael's office. She picked at her thumbnail.

"Michael? Jim Halpert is here to see you." Jim looked down at the receptionist with slight curiosity. Her eyes were still slightly swollen from hours of crying and he noticed. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, if he could help her. There was a broken look in her eyes that couldn't be ignored.

But he had just met here, didn't even know her name. She would probably think he was absolutely insane.

He shook himself out of his inner thoughts as she hung up the phone and looked up. "He's ready for you."

He was about to turn around and walk into the office she pointed to when she reached out a grabbed his forearm lightly. He couldn't help but notice how his skin tingled when she didn't release it right away.

He leaned back on the desk. She folded her hands in her lap and leaned forward slightly so he could hear her whispered voice.

"Listen, it seems unfair if you go in there, unprepared."

"Unprepared?"

"Just listen. Michael isn't a conventional boss. He's not like other people."

"But that's good right? It's good he isn't like all the other company guys?"

Pam just looked up at him blankly. She shook her head slightly from side to side. Jim was just beginning to wonder what he was getting himself into. But he needed this job.

He bit his lip and looked over his shoulder at the closed office door. He whipped his head back to Pam who was apparently looking at the office along with him. "So what do I do?"

"What do you do?"

"Yeah, how do I handle this Michael guy?"

Pam looked at him carefully and then leaned forward again. "Okay, I bet we only have about thirty seconds before he comes bounding out of his office so listen carefully. Michael likes to tell jokes. A lot of them. Mostly inappropriate. Force a laugh or two because, trust me, it's worse if you don't. He will most likely rhyme you name with something because he is incapable of just saying anyone's name normally. Don't be thrown off if he asks you some random question like what's your favorite color, or what was your childhood fear. Just answer like it's nothing. Oh, and do not mention anything about his skin. I know it's weird, but he is really sensitive about it."

Jim was regarding her with wide eyes. "Are you being serious? Or is this just new guy hazing?"

The office door behind them burst open causing both to jump. Jim turned, leaning his forearms on the top of the desk.

Michael emerged from his office, arms spread wide, and a huge grin on his face. "Jimbo, welcome to our happy family."

But Jim wasn't focusing on the fact that Michael has already made up a truly annoying name for him. He wasn't focused on the fake smile plastered on his face or the fact that he had just called his company his family. He was focused on the orange tint that covered Michael's entire body, or that which he could see.

"Come on in, don't be shy." Michael walked back into his office, leaving the door wide open.

Jim turned back to Pam with a horrified look. She smiled slightly.

"Just be glad today isn't casual Friday."

-

Jim came shuffling out of Michael's office roughly forty minutes later, his face blank and hair slightly tousled. He looked over at Pam with wide eyes and an open mouth and she stifled a laugh before Michael came bounding out behind him, clapping him on the back. He visibly winced.

"Everyone, everyone, listen up." Few heads turned towards them. Dwight looked up attentively. Angela poked her head up behind her cubicle. Stanley went on with his crosswords. "This is Jimmy Halpert, our newest salesman." Jim winced again at Jimmy. "I'm sure you will welcome into our family with open arms."

Jim put his things on the empty desk in front of him and sat down quickly before Michael could say any more. Michael looked around the silent office as everyone went back to what they were supposed to doing it. His smile faltered slightly as he was no longer the center of attention.

He walked over to reception where Pam looked up quickly and then went back to what she was doing. "Hello Michael. What do you need?"

"Hello Michael. What do you need?" He said it in a high-pitched voice with his face scrunched together. She but the inside of her cheek and closed her eyes for a moment. "Why are you so cold Pam? Why can't you genuinely care about anyone by yourself? Why are you so rude? Why-" He turned and faced the entire office. "Are you all so rude?!"

"We aren't rude Michael, we love you." Dwight offered from his desk.

Michael looked at him for a moment, his face stoic, then walked defeated back into his office where he slammed the door shut and drew the blinds. Jim gave Pam another look of horror before turning on his computer and starting work.

-

Pam walked into the breakroom, stomach growling in discontent. She looked down at it and sighed.

"Shut up, you."

"Do you frequently talk to your internal organs, or is this like a one time thing?"

Pam jumped slightly and turned, seeing Jim set up at a table in the corner, his fingers intertwined behind his head. He gave her a soft smile as she blushed.

"One time thing. I didn't pack a lunch this morning. I was a little preoccupied."

She walked over to the snack machine, chewing on the inside of her cheek, looking at the assortment of food.

"Preoccupied?"

She looked at Jim over her shoulder who was chewing on a carrot stick thoughtfully.

She paused a moment, then sighed, smiling slightly. "Actually, hung over."

He choked slightly on his carrot stick. "Wow, didn't peg you as the type to get rip roaring drunk on a week day."

She blushed as she turned back to the snack machine. "Not usually."

"Special occasion?"

She pressed in the numbers of her selection. "Something like that."

Jim had barely heard her say it; it was barely a whisper. His smile faltered and he studied the tabletop in silence.

He heard the chair across from him move back against the flooring and he looked up. Pam gave him a small smile.

"You know, I realized I didn't introduce myself this morning. I'm Pam Beesly. Reception." She stuck out her hand and he took it carefully, smiling with a twinkle in his eye.

"Nice to meet you Pam Beesly, reception."

She pulled back her hand and poked at her snack. She popped a couple in her mouth than held out the box so it was in his reach.

"Jellybean?"

-

It had been four weeks since Roy had moved out. He had come by a week after he had initially left to pick up the rest of his things from their apartment. Pam had watched him silently as he picked up the hefty bags and took them out to his car.

With the last bag he had stopped and looked at her, his eyes sad.

She took a sip of her wine.

"Pam, I-"

"Don't." She said quietly as her voice shook. "Just go."

The door shut behind him with a soft click.

She took another sip of wine.

They had bought their apartment together after they had first moved to Scranton and been together for at least five years. It was in celebration of his new job as a warehouse worker at some company called Dunder Mifflin.

She remembered how excited she had been when they first purchased it. She had gone through every room in the spacious apartment, making plans on how to decorate. It had two master bedrooms, one would obviously be used for her and Roy and the other for guests. The kitchen and family room were in a large space in the center. The two rooms merged together seamlessly with a slightly modern feel. She loved it.

She had tried including Roy in the redecorating, but he seemed not to care much. He just smiled and nodded whenever she brought home fabrics, not even turning away from the television.

So she basically designed it in a mirror image of her own tastes. Colorful lights hung over the island counter top in the middle of the kitchen and she put up art she had collected over the years periodically along the wall.

She loved her home and when Roy left she felt a pain of uncertainty as to how she would afford it by herself. Roy's income had helped a lot with paying for most of their necessities. There was no way she could make the rent each month by herself.

Just another thing Roy had left her to deal with.

By herself.

She sat on the counter, something she had taken to doing recently, and poured over a blank sheet of paper. A roommate. That seemed to be the easiest answer. She would put an ad in the paper, and a roommate could help with the monthly payment.

But a roommate, seriously? She wasn't exactly a people person. But the other room in the apartment was entirely separate from her own. Across the spacious kitchen and family room. She wouldn't have to interact beyond meals and television time.

It still weirded her out. Someone else, living in her home with her, the one she had shared with Roy.

She drummed her fingers on the countertop, chewing on the pencil that lingered in her mouth. If she did have a roommate, maybe she wouldn't be as lonely as she constantly felt. Someone always being within ten feet of her could be nice.

Maybe she could even meet a gu-

She shook the thought from her head as soon as it entered. It was too soon for that. She felt the tears well in her eyes and shook that away too. No more crying. She was sick of crying.

She wrote the ad and called the local paper, making sure it would be in the next couple issues. As she hung up the phone, she felt a wave of sadness overcome her. That was it. She had let it go. Roy wasn't coming back.

She took a sip of her wine.

-

Pam sat at the table, twirling her spoon around in her yogurt container, a laugh bubbling in her throat.

Jim was telling her some completely ridiculous story about his brother Jonathan and she couldn't help but laugh at his animated hand motions. They had settled into a comfortable friendship. He made her laugh. And she needed that.

"So he tripped and fell right over the mailbox as he was trying to jump over it and landed in the middle of the street."

She looked up with wide eyes. "The street where the funeral procession was going on?"

He let out a chuckle. "Yeah, they didn't take too kindly to the interruption."

"Jim Halpert, I am disappointed in your influences as a brother."

"He's the older brother, if anything, I am influenced by him."

"Whatever, demon child."

Jim looked at her with shocked eyes. "I'll have you know, Beesly, I was a very polite and well-mannered child."

"What happened?"

He laughed as her straight face crumbled and she erupted into a fit of giggles. He could listen to her laugh like that forever. She didn't seem to do it enough.

"Hey, I wouldn't be complaining. Let's think here. If I never took this job, you would be alone with Micahel. And Dwight. Let's face it. You love me right now."

She let out another burst of laughter and he looked down at his carrot sticks, smiling. He was going to like it here.

-

It had been four weeks since Jim had moved to Scranton and the apartment hunting was a complete and total disaster. He had gone to countless apartment complexes, some with roommates and some without. He would definitely prefer the without option judging by the mentality of most of the people in this town.

He sighed as he pulled into the parking lot of his last visit of the day. The sun was setting and he still had some paperwork to finish for work. He reached across to the passenger seat of his car and picked up the paper where he had circle several addresses earlier in the week. He double-checked the address he was currently at and climbed out of his car.

The cold winter air blasted him as he shut the door behind him. He squinted up at the building in the setting light. He seemed to be nice. But he had been to enough buildings to know that didn't mean a heck of a lot.

The apartment was on the third floor, at the end of a long hallway. Jim stood in front of the designated door and let out a deep breath, his shoulders slumping slightly. He knocked.

He could hear shuffling behind the door and then it swung open, the tenant brushing her hair out of her eyes as she did so.

There was a moment of silence.

"Jim?"

He blinked down at the familiar curly head. "Pam?"


	3. Chapter 3

She folded her arms across her chest and leaned against her doorframe. "What, are you stalking me now?"

She smiled at him and he was staring down at her, his mouth open, his eyes a little wider than usual.

She searched his face for a second and then grew self-conscious, pushing off the door and running a hand through her unruly hair. "What?"

He shook his head slightly and closed his mouth. He reached into his back pocket where he fished out the paper and handed it to her, not saying a word.

She took it and raised an eyebrow at him, unfolding it and looking to where he pointed silently.

"Am I at the right apartment?"

She looked at the ad, squinting so she could see it better in the dim light outside her apartment. She let out a small gasp and then looked up at him, a huge smile lighting up her face. He smiled uneasily.

"So I am at the right apartment?"

She nodded, still smiling and stepped inside, holding open the door in invitation. He walked in, still fighting away the uneasiness that lingered within him. Something in his mind was screaming at him to turn around and walk away. Something was pounding on the inside of his brain, telling him he couldn't handle this, this living in the same place as her.

But the pounding on the inside of his heart had different ideas.

He looked around her spacious apartment as she shuffled to the kitchen.

"Do you want any tea or anything?"

He looked at one of the many pictures on the wall. He touched the raised paint strokes gently with his finger. He wondered if she painted it. It looked like something she would paint, bright and beautiful.

"No, I'm good."

He turned around and watched her as she made tea in a pale green tea pot, her back to him.

"I love this tea pot." She said quietly, more to herself than to him.

"Why is that?"

She smiled at him over her shoulder, and turned to face him, clutching her mug of tea with both her hands.

"I'm not really sure. I saw it in the store and fell in love with it. I think I had one like it before, a while ago."

He nodded, not really knowing why. They stood in a comfortable silence for a moment.

"So this is weird." Pam stated over her mug of tea.

Jim's eyes met hers quickly. "You think so?"

She looked at the slight fear and self-doubt in his features and waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, no, not that. The fact that you answered the ad and it's me. Weird."

He wanted to say 'fate' or something like that but he thought that would be inappropriate.

"So do you want to see the room?"

He just nodded, following her across the kitchen to a door that was closed. She opened it and stood with her back to the door, allowing him to see the room in its entirety.

It was simple. A bed in the middle, a dresser across from it. Some book shelved lined the walls. There was a window that looked out over some trees. He smiled and took a step forward, leaning against the dresser so he faced her.

"What do you think?" She offered again.

"It's nice. Really nice actually, ten times better than anything I've been to. You wouldn't believe half the stuff I saw."

She laughed. "Oh, I believe it. Remember, I was apartment hunting at one point too."

He laughed along with her. His eyes bore into hers. She felt herself blush slightly.

"So, what do you think? Do you want to-"

She gestured and he looked away from her, surveying the room again. "Well the room is nice, but I'm not so sure about the company."

She laughed and slapped him on the arm.

He looked up with mock indignation. "See, I'm not so sure if I can move into this violent environment. I have a very sensitive exterior Pam."

She laughed again and pushed off the door, shuffling back out of the room and into the kitchen where she set down her mug. He followed and slipped on to one of the bar stools, resting his forearms on the coal colored countertop.

He took a breath before asking the question that was floating around his head. "Honestly, I would love to. It's really nice. But would it be weird? I mean, we work together and stuff. Would you be okay with me living here?"

"Why would it be weird?"

He looked down at the countertop where he picked at the dry skin on his broad hands. "We would basically be seeing each other constantly."

He met her eyes and she smiled at him softly. "I don't mind."

He felt a smile spread across his face. "Yeah, me either."

"Okay then." She clapped her hands excitedly. "We are now roommates."

"And co-workers." He offered helpfully.

"We are co-roommate-workers!"

He laughed but couldn't help the butterflies that floated in his stomach. "Well, I should go."

She nodded and smiled, following him to the door. "We'll talk at work tomorrow and figure everything out."

"Sounds good."

He opened the door and began to walk down the hallway. She stuck out her head.

"Bye co-roommate-worker!"

He turned around and gave her a smile, walking backwards. She laughed and waved before pulling her head back in her apartment, and shutting the door.

She looked at the wood of the closed door and felt her cheeks straining from smiling so much. She rubbed her stomach absently. She hadn't felt that feeling in a while.

There was something in her mind, screaming at her, to be careful. She could lose herself quickly in this.

"Shut up you."

The pounding in her heart had different plans.

"We're just friends." She whispered to no one in particular. "Friends."

-

"But where will my collection of anime action figures go?"

He blinked up at her innocently. She raised an eyebrow.

"Very funny."

He kept his face blank and emotionless. Her jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

"I never kid about my anime figures Pam."

She put her spoon down next to her empty container of yogurt. "That's it, you aren't moving in. I am not living with Dwight 2.0."

He laughed loudly, popping another pretzel in his mouth. "I lied. No anime figures coming with me. Just clothes, laptop, and Ipod."

"That's all you have?"

"And shower stuff I guess."

"That's it?"

"I think, why?"

"How could you live just off of that? What do you eat off of? How do you make food?"

"Well, considering I have been living in a hotel for the past month, it really hasn't been an issue. I sold all my stuff when I left up north. I figured if I needed stuff, I could use the money and just buy what I needed down here."

"Oh." She said simply.

"Why? Are you offended that I planned on using your dishes? Are you one of those people who label everything they own and the roommate is not allowed to come within ten feet of it?"

He gave her a smile and she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's me."

"Well, stay away from my anime collection."

Her laugh bubbled in his ears as he smiled softly.

-


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews. Its nice having a response to stuff you take three hours writing while eating breakfast. And this chapter was upgraded for language.

-

"Want to take the same car today?" Pam yelled across the kitchen to Jim's room, where he was still getting ready for work. They had recently taken to carpooling. It saved money on gas, and it wasn't like they had to drive out of their way to drop each other off.

Jim came shuffling out of his room, his tie hanging loosely around his neck and plopped down on one of the bar stools. Pam set a cup of coffee in front of him and he gave her a small smile in thanks and watched as she ducked down in the fridge for her orange juice.

"No, we should drive separately. I have some errands to run after work." He took a sip of coffee, forcing his eyes open. He never was a morning person.

Pam shut the fridge with her hip and walked over to where he sat. "That's fine. Are you going to the grocery store?"

He nodded and smiled. "Double fudge macadamia nut?"

She laughed. "You know me so well."

He smiled and set down his coffee cup, tightening his tie around his neck. Pam took his mug and placed it in the sink and looked at him as his clumsy fingers slipped around the fabric. She smiled and reached across the counter.

"Here, let me help. You are crooked."

He let out a dramatic sigh and dropped his hands, leaning forward so she could reach him. Her fingers slid around his neck, raising his collar. He felt goosebumps rise on his arms. She twisted the knot effortlessly and pulled down his collar. She ran her hand down the fabric, smoothing it down.

Her hand lingered on his chest and he was sure she could feel how fast his heart was beating.

She shook herself out of her stupor and looked up at him smiling, only a faint blush on her cheeks.

"There, good as new."

He forced a smile, swallowing back his heart.

-

She climbed into her car in the parking lot, watching as Jim pulled out in front of her. She let out a deep breath. When she was in the kitchen with him, straightening his tie, it seemed like an oddly intimate gesture. They had only been living together for about a week and had already set into a routine. There was no initial awkwardness between them. They coexisted and got along.

But they had also managed to stay far away from each other, physically. They sat on the couch together at night, watching whatever pointless television was on and sometimes they brushed past each other in the kitchen but she had never physically come in contact with him.

And she couldn't deny the electricity she felt when she ran her hand down his chest.

She pulled her car out of her parking space. "Oh boy."

-

Pam walked into the apartment, collapsing onto the couch. Jim had told her in the parking lot he shouldn't be long. Maybe an hour or two, depending on how crowded the supermarket and dry cleaners were.

She said she would order Chinese. He had smiled and let out a little 'yay'. It kept her smiling all the way home.

The menu was taped on the fridge. Jim had saw it sitting in a drawer when he had first used her kitchen and been horrified.

"This is no place for a fast food menu. It deserves a place of honor."

"Well, if you tape it to the fridge, we won't be able to read the back."

"Then I guess it's lucky we have two."

He had held up another menu that she had forgotten about and gone about taping them to the fridge. The only problem with the menus taped to the fridge is she had to sit on the floor to order from it.

She sat cross-legged on the floor and picked up the phone, dialing the number and ordering more than enough food for the both of them. She had no sooner hung up the phone than a knock came at the door.

She looked at it curiously, then the clock, and then back to the door. It was far too early for Jim to be back.

Maybe he had forgotten something.

She stood up and did a half-jog to the door and swung it open, smiling.

"What did you-"

She froze, the smile slipping from her lips, her hand gripping the door until her knuckles turned white.

"Roy." It came out in a strained whisper.

"Hey, Pam." He mustered a weak smile and awkwardly handed her the flowers he had brought. She looked at the in surprise for a second, her mouth forming a soft 'oh'.

"Take me back?"

No sorry. No apology. No begging or pleading. Just a question that didn't even sound like a question at all. It sounded like more of a statement. Like he had no other expectation that she would welcome him back with open arms.

She thrust the flowers back in his arms.

"I don't think so." She stepped back in the threshold of the apartment and crossed her arms over her chest. He let out a forced chuckle and took a step towards her, reaching for her arm. She recoiled from his touch, taking another step in the apartment.

He looked at her incredulously. "You aren't serious."

"I think you made it perfectly clear when you left you had no intention of coming back."

"Well, I changed my mind. I need you Pam."

She set her jaw and looked him straight in the eyes. "I don't need you."

He let his arm drop to the side, a couple of the flower petals falling gracefully to the floor. He mouthed something wordlessly, shocked, and then shut his mouth. He looked around the apartment, not knowing what to say.

His eyes came to rest on a shirt thrown across the back of a couch. His eyes squinted in confusion. It wasn't one of Pam's shirts. It was a man's shirt. And he was pretty sure he never owned a shirt like that. He walked over to it and picked it up.

Realization hit him with a sickening jolt.

He turned towards Pam who was staring intently at the shirt, her eyes slightly wider than usual. "Roy, that's-"

"It's what Pam?" His voice was low and shaking. The anger was bubbling over. He dropped the flowers and picked up the shirt, fisting it with his hands. "What the fuck is it Pam?"

She took a step towards the kitchen, searching for what to say. He was too impatient to wait.

"I'll tell you what it is. It is a fucking man's shirt. And I'm pretty confident it isn't mine. You've been seeing other men?"

He threw the shirt on the ground. Pam's fear morphed into anger. "So what if I was? You left me Roy! You. Left. Me." She pointed her finger to her chest for emphasis. She couldn't help the tears that welled up in her eyes, more out of rage and anger than anything else. "You left me two months before our wedding. I'm sorry if I took that as a sign that things were over between us."

"We were together ten years Pam!"

"I know that Roy. I was under the impression that you didn't understand that."

"I did understand that!"

"But you still left!" Pam couldn't remember the last time she had yelled so much, or let her anger get the best of her, or even show so much emotion. But the walls of her heart were breaking down and all the pain he caused her, all the sorrow, was pouring out.

"So you hopped on the nearest guy you find? How many guys did you do, Pam, when I left?"

That comment stung. It hit her hard in the chest. "How many girls did you do, Roy, when we were together?"

"This isn't about me, it's about you and how you are sleeping with men in our home."

She slammed her hand down on the counter. "This is about you. It is about you and me and the choices you decided to make. You! And this isn't our home, it is my home. It stopped being your home, when you fucking left! You left Roy! You left me. You left me here alone. So you can't come back and judge me and the choices I make. Which, are perfectly respectable and in my right by the way, unlike you who went behind my back with other women."

She stopped, her chest heaving. They stood across from each other, Pam's hand on the counter and Roy still gripping Jim's shirt.

"You have no-"

Roy was interrupted by the door swinging open and Jim striding in with two grocery bags balanced in his arms. Jim stopped immediately, looking between the couple standing in the middle of the apartment.

"Uh, hello."

He walked over to where Pam was standing and put the groceries down. Roy followed him with his eyes, like an animal stalking his prey. Pam's anger changed to one of panic when Jim entered the apartment.

"Seriously, Pam? This. This is what you choose?"

Pam fixed Roy with a look. "Don't you bring him into this. This is between us."

"Bullshit! He's living with you. I think this means he's involved."

"Roy-" She took a step towards him, a pleading tone in her voice. Jim was thoroughly confused, his forehead knotting in the center and eyes quickly moving between Pam and Roy.

"Does he know what a fucking slut you are?"

Everything in the apartment went completely still. Pam stopped stock still, her hand on her mouth. Jim felt his blood run cold, and hands grip the counter tighter than necessary.

"Get out." Pam said quietly.

Roy made no hint of movement.

"Get out of my house or I am calling the cops." Roy held her gaze for a moment, before turning and walking towards the door. He slammed it violently shut behind him.

Jim and Pam stood in silence in the apartment. Jim watched as Pam's shoulders slumped and she let out a shuddering breath. She didn't even seem to notice he was in the same room as her.

She wiped a hand across her face and shuffled over to where her room was, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Jim stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring at her door for a long while. He had no idea what was going on. He had no idea who Roy was or why him and Pam were arguing. It was obvious they had a relationship at some point but why he was there, he didn't know. Pam had made no mention of any Roy.

What Jim did know was that when Roy called Pam a slut, he had the urge to leap over the countertop and punch his face in. No one deserved that. Especially Pam, who thought of everyone before herself. Pam who was caring and loving and-

He sighed and walked over to her bedroom door. He knocked softly.

"Pam?"

No answer.

He tried again. Still no answer. He eased open the door and saw Pam lying across the bed on her back, staring up at the ceiling. He sat down carefully on the edge, the bed sinking down slightly.

They sat in silence for a moment, just listening to each other breathing when Pam spoke, her voice small. "I'm sorry I dragged you into my fight."

She turned her head on the bed to look at him. He could see her eyes were slightly blood shot from crying. He gave her a cheeky grin.

"You didn't drag me into anything. Now come on, I seem to remember some one promising Chinese and Princess Bride tonight."

He stood up from the bed and held out his hands for her to take. She looked up at him, smiling softly. She took his hands and he easily pulled her up so she was on her feet. She brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"You aren't mad?" She couldn't shake the feeling from her system that she was somehow disappointing him or causing him to have doubts about moving in.

"Mad? Me?" He slung his arm over her shoulders. "Not at my favorite slut."

She let out a loud laugh and let him lead her to the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Jim leaned his head back on the couch, turning his head slightly to look at Pam. He smiled when he saw she was curled up in a ball on the end of the couch, fast asleep, still clutching her chicken and noodles.

He observed her peaceful face for a second and hoped that she had the reprise of dreaming. While they had been watching the movie, her laughter hadn't quite reached her eyes and she seemed to go off into her own world, not joining in Jim's banter.

He eased off the sofa, moving her legs off of him carefully. He reached forward and removed the take out from her grasp and set it on the table.

She nuzzled further into the couch. He sighed.

"Have to be difficult, don't you?"

He seemed to weigh his options. He could leave her here and let her wake up to a stiff neck and a bad mood. Or he could pick her up and carry her to her bed. He eyed the distance and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Come on Pam." He slid one arm under her knees and the other behind her back. He lifted her up effortlessly and she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck.

He could feel her even breathing on his neck. He closed his eyes, trying to stop the room from spinning. Having her so close was like being intoxicated. He could feel the warmth of her body against his chest, her hands at the base of his neck, her hair under his chin, her nose nuzzled in his neck. He was pretty sure he was going to pass out.

He took a calming breath and walked her to her bedroom where he laid her down carefully on the bed. He pulled the blankets over her and tucked her in like his mom used to do to him when he was younger.

He was about to walk out and clean up from dinner when he felt her hand on his wrist. He looked at her curiously, but her eyes were still closed.

"Thanks for being my friend." She whispered in a hazy, sleep ridden voice.

He smiled at her gently and released her hand from his, placing it back in the bed.

He closed her door behind him, letting out a sigh and throwing his body down on the couch. He wasn't sure he could do this. The feelings he had towards Pam had been steadily building every day. He had thought that it was just some stupid crush and it would dissipate after a couple days. But he was wrong. Seriously wrong.

Every time he woke up and saw her in the kitchen, her hair pulled in a loose bun; he felt something stir in his stomach. Every time she snorted when she laughed and choked on her dinner, he felt his heart pound.

It had been a month and he was pretty sure he was in love with her. And it scared the shit out of him.

It was obvious she wasn't ready for a relationship. Judging by the appearance of that man, it was apparent that she had a pretty messy breakup. And judging by her behavior after he left, she wasn't quite over it yet.

And he doubted she felt the same way. He wasn't willing to lose her friendship either, by telling her how he felt. He would beat it out of his system. He would ignore it. He could ignore it.

-

Pam woke up and stretched in her bed. She let out s deep sigh and smiled at the sunlight streaming through the window.

Shit. Sunlight. She turned to look at her clock and almost feel out of her bed, her legs being tangled in the sheets. She scrambled to get untangled and fell to the floor, knocking her arm on the nightstand and causing her alarm clock to slide across the hardwood floor.

"Damn it."

She must have missed her alarm. She crawled over to her clock and squinted at it.

"Damn it!" She stood up and slid into the hall, rushing into the bathroom.

"Jim!"

He was fast asleep on the couch, not having moved from the previous night. He didn't stir when she screamed.

She rushed back out of the bathroom, her dress shirt in one hand, skirt in the other. She jogged over to where Jim was and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him violently.

"Jim, wake up!"

He tried to push her away and rolled over, pushing his face into the side of the couch.

"S'more rutabagas." He muttered unintelligibly.

"Jim, this is not the time for rutabagas!" She shook him again. "Now wake up."

He blinked his eyes up at her groggily, a small smile forming on his face. "Good morning, Pam. Whatcha doing?"

"We're late."

"I told you Pam, I am not taking you to the circus today."

Pam let out a groan, as it was obvious he was still in a hazy dream state. She considered smacking him but she decided a more gentle and affirmative approach.

"Work. Jim. We are late for work."

He looked confused for a minute and then seemed to realize what she was saying. His eyes grew wide. "Damn it."

"I know."

She let go of his arms and shuffled quickly back to her room. Jim sat up, wincing as the crick in his neck twitched painfully. He rubbed it and stood up, doing a half-jog to his room.

He pulled on his work pants and a shirt he hoped was clean. He was hopping on one foot, pulling on his shoe with his tie in his teeth when Pam came bustling out, quickly pulling her hair back in a clip.

He pulled on his other shoe and slung his tie around his neck, grabbing his messenger bag.

"How late?"

Pam indulged in a quick look at the clock. "Uh, right now, forty five minutes. I can't believe we over slept."

She grabbed her purse and looking inside. "Keys?"

Jim swiped them off the counter and tossed them to her. She reached up and caught them without even looking up.

"You good?"

She looked up as he was tying his tie.

"Let's go."

-

By the time they got to work they were an hour and seven minutes late. It seemed to be the whole focus of the universe to turn every light red in the town of Scranton. Jim drummed his fingers anxiously on the door handle the whole way there.

"Is that necessary?"

"What?"

"The drumming. It's making me anxious."

"Sorry."

They raced to the elevator and Jim pushed the button several times more than necessary.

They slipped into the office silently but Dwight was already waiting at reception. Jim stopped suddenly causing Pam who was walking behind him to abruptly smack into him.

"Jesus, Dwight."

Jim and Pam separated, pulling off their jackets and throwing them on the coat rack. Dwight didn't move his gaze from either. Kind of creepy, considering they were moving in different directions. Jim was about to sit down at his desk when Dwight motioned for him to come back.

"Jim, I think we need to have a talk, all three of us."

Pam raised her eyebrows behind Dwight, giving a small eye roll. Jim sighed and sauntered over.

"What can I do for you Dwight?"

"Well," He began, his eyes narrowed. "I think it is obvious a very serious rule has been broken here. That is the rule of punctuality."

Jim looked at Pam. She bit the inside of her cheek.

"And because this is your second lateness in a short period of time Pam-"

"Since when is two months a short period of time?"

He moved his gaze from Jim to Pam. His eyes narrowed even further. He remained silent and raised an eyebrow. Pam raised an eyebrow back. He coughed. "As I was saying, since this is your second lateness, you have forfeited your lunch break along with the pay deduction that I know you are aware of."

"You can't take away my lunch break Dwight, I have to eat."

"Fact. A human can go three days without eating."

Pam shook her head slowly back and forth as if she couldn't believe what he was saying.

"You can't stop someone from eating Dwight." Jim offered from his leaning position on the desk.

"I can, and I will. You make any move towards that break room Pam, and there will be serious repercussions."

"You going to tackle me?"

He looked straight at her. "If I have to."

Her jaw dropped and she looked at Jim who shrugged, forcing back a smile. Dwight turned his attention towards him.

"Since this is your first lateness, you will be only charged with the deduction of pay." He leaned forward so his face was inches away from Jim. Jim looked at him uncomfortably. Dwight spoke in a hushed whisper. "And I advise that you sever attachments with Pam. She seems to be having a negative influence on you. I wouldn't want a new salesmen swayed to the powers of dark side. Women can be persuasive with their fickle ways and certain…aspects."

Jim leaned back into the desk. "I'm uncomfortable with you this close to my face."

Dwight leaned back abruptly, casting a cautious look at Pam and one last glare at Jim before sitting back down at his desk.

Once he was gone, Jim leaned on the reception desk. Pam shook her head in disgust and reached for a stack of files on the edge of the desk.

"He's strange."

Jim smiled. "Understatement. He told me I need to watch out for your 'fickle ways' and 'persuasive aspects'."

Pam raised an eyebrow. "Persuasive aspects? What would those be?"

Jim fought back the blush he knew was about to stain his cheeks. He knew exactly what persuasive aspects Dwight was talking about. He tried to ignore the way the fabric tightened over that part of her shirt and the way her warm skin felt through his shirt last night when he carried her to bed. He coughed and forced a smile.

"Oh, you know. Ears. Hair follicles. Apparently, those can be very persuasive."

Pam smiled up at him. He went back to his desk after flashing her a small grin. She let out a sigh and tried to discreetly fan herself. As soon as she had asked the question she had regretted it. She had remembered how he had carried her to bed last night, his broad hands on the patch of skin between her shirt and waistband. She was half asleep, but she could still feel the heat.

And asking questions with sexual connotations was not something friends did. And it did not help the denial Pam was trying to drown herself in.

-

Jim came back from the break room around twelve and looked around for Dwight. He was nowhere in sight. He tossed her a bag of animal crackers he had gotten from the vending machine.

"So you can eat. And because I didn't take you to the circus."

Pam stifled her laughter and hid the bag in her lap as Dwight re-emerged from the kitchen. He looked from Jim to Pam and back to Jim again. Jim looked up at him with large innocent eyes.

Dwight sat down at his desk carefully. "I know you two are planning something. I'm not stupid you know."

Jim turned his attention to his computer. "Sure fooled me." He muttered.


	6. Chapter 6

Pam shuffled out of her room; comforter wrapped tightly around her shoulders, and plopped down on the couch next to Jim. He looked at her firmly wrapped body curiously.

"Did we suddenly fast forward to winter?"

She propped her feet up on the table and reached one hand out of her cocoon for the bad of cookies that were sitting between them.

"It's freezing in here."

Jim looked down at his shorts and thin t-shirt. "Uh, no it's not."

"Oh." She snuggled further down in her blanket so just her eyes and curly hair were visible. Her hand would occasionally sneak out to snag a cookie and then disappear as she munched away. Jim chuckled softly.

"What movie tonight?" She asked between crunches.

Jim tore his eyes away from her and looked to the television. "It's a toss up between Sixth Sense, Fargo, and Singin' in the Rain."

Pam directed her attention towards him. He could tell because her whole comforter-covered form shifted.

"What?" He asked self-consciously, meeting her gaze.

"You hate Singin' in the Rain."

"Do not." He exclaimed in indignation. Pam narrowed her eyes at him.

"Liar. When I wanted to watch West Side Story last weekend you had a fit and said that any movie involving gangs dueling through dance wasn't a movie for you. You hate musicals."

Jim smirked and turned his attention away. "Well, I guess it is a good thing there are no dancing duels in this movie."

Pam smiled behind her blanket, looking at him affectionately. He stretched his arms above his head and knotted his fingers together behind his neck. She followed the muscle of his arm to his bicep. He was wearing a thin undershirt and she could just begin to see his chest hair poking out at the top. She felt her mouth go dry.

"So what's it gonna be? Gene Kelly or Bruce Willis?"

Pam shook her head slightly, biting her lip. "What? Oh. Sixth Sense. I don't think I have seen it before."

He looked at her with wide eyes. "You haven't seen Sixth Sense before?"

"Well, I know the whole story and I know Bruce Willis is really a ghost but I haven't seen it."

He shook his head and reached for the remote. Pam watched the muscles in his back as he stretched forward.

She needed to stop this. It was getting ridiculous.

He was her roommate. Her best friend now. She couldn't just-

"You're going to have nightmares." He muttered as he leaned back into the couch. Pam looked at him from her nest.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"How do you know?" She stated smugly, reaching for another cookie.

"I know you, Pam. And I know that you are going to have nightmares. And it's more than that-"

She turned her head and looked at him curiously. "What did you just say?"

He felt it too. "Déjà vu?"

"Yeah."

"Weird, maybe it's the ghosts. They are coming for you Pam." He wiggled his fingers in front of her face as he widened his eyes.

He heard her let out a huff from behind her blankets and he smiled.

-

Jim collapsed face first into his bed and pulled his pillow into his face. They had finished the movie about a half hour ago and Pam had shuffled off to bed, still complaining about the cold. Jim had thought she looked a little pale; maybe she was fighting something off.

He was almost asleep when he heard footsteps across the kitchen and a patch of light fell across his face.

"Jim?"

"Huh?" He asked half into his pillow and half out loud. It came out as a muffled unnatural sound.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, but, uh-"

"What is it Pam?" He asked impatiently.

"I can't sleep. I-I'm scared." She admitted quietly. He smiled softly to himself and patted the empty space next to him, not looking up, and not moving.

She smiled to herself and shuffled over, collapsing onto the bed. She had brought her comforter, it being still tightly wrapped around her. She turned so she faced him on her side. Jim adjusted the blanket over her shoulder so she was completely covered.

"No monsters in here." He muttered.

"Ghosts?" She whispered, her eyes wide like a childs.

"Not one."

"Promise?"

He reached for her hand under her blanket and found it. He pulled it towards him so it touched his chest and placed it over his heart, making a cross motion.

"Cross my heart." He muttered again, not opening his eyes. He released her hand and she reluctantly pulled it back, tucking it back in her blankets.

"Hope to die?" She whispered, barely audible.

He opened his eyes and smiled at her slightly. Even in the dark room she could see the faint sparkle. "Not right now."

-

Jim woke up before his alarm went off. He blinked his eyes at the far wall, adjusting to the faint light that had begun to fill the room and reflect off the white walls. He let out a sigh as his mind began to drift towards the previous night.

He had a dream again, about Pam. She had come into his room, afraid of monsters, or some ridiculous thing like that, and climbed into his bed with him. These dreams were becoming more and more frequent and the feeling of immense hope he woke up every time was beginning to take its toll on him. He wasn't sure how much more disappointment he could take, waking up to an empty bed.

He heaved a sigh and was about to pull himself from out of the covers when he felt something in his back.

His heart went still.

He turned in his sheets and there was Pam, curled up in a ball, her knees hitting him in the back. He gaped at her until his alarm clock shook him out of his stupor. He reached over Pam's sleeping form and turned it off quickly.

Maybe it wasn't a dream.

Huh.

He touched her arm gently to wake her up. He could feel the heat radiating from her skin even before his fingers came in contact with her. He furrowed his eyebrows in concern. He rested the back of his hand against her forehead and she let out a faint whimper. It was obvious she had a fever.

He climbed as carefully he could from the bed and tiptoed around his room, trying to get dressed without waking her. He dropped a shoe and winced. He turned towards the bed as she was rubbing her eyes, blinking up at him with heavy eyelids.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" She asked in a gravelly voice.

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed by her, still putting on his shoes. "I think you should stay home today. You have a fever."

She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. "But Dwight."

He smiled at her reassuringly. "Don't worry about Dwight, I'll take care of him."

She blinked open her eyes again, seemingly against her will, and mustered a small smile. "Thanks. I'm going to sleep."

He chuckled softly. "Sounds like a plan."

She was out again in seconds. He watched as her knotted forehead relaxed and her breathing evened out. He resisted the urge to kiss her forehead lightly. That would be inappropriate.

"More inappropriate than the fact that she slept in your bed last night?" His mind countered.

"Nothing happened." His whispered to himself.

"But it could have."

He was beginning to not like his mind.

-

Jim sat alone at the break room table, his feet propped up on the chair across from him. The day was going by excruciatingly slow. At least when Pam was here, he had someone to talk to and joke with. It made the mundane hours seem more tolerable.

All he had today was a bag of pretzels and a grape soda. Not very comforting.

Phyllis walked into the break room and Jim gave her a gentle smile. He had always liked Phyllis. She was a pleasant woman and he couldn't help but feel like he could go to her if he ever had any problems.

"Hello Jim." She offered as she began to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"Hey Phyllis, how are you?"

"Trying to get through the day alive."

He let out an appreciative laugh. She smiled and surprised him by taking the seat across from him and his grape soda. She sipped thoughtfully at her coffee for a moment before she placed it down on the table, her hands wrapped around.

"I'm very glad you and Pam are living together."

Jim smiled at her. "Yeah, me too. She's a good roommate."

Phyllis looked at him knowingly and smirked slightly, a faint glitter in her eyes. He felt like he should say something else but all he did was blush.

"I mean, we were all so worried about her after Roy left."

Jim felt his curiosity peak. He looked down at his pretzels and asked, as casually as he could, "So he left her then?"

Phyllis didn't miss the tone in his voice and nodded with a small smile lurking on her features. "Yeah. It was terrible. He left, oh my, wait a moment." She put a hand to her mouth. "I think he left the day you showed up at the office. My, isn't that ironic."

Jim remembered back to the day he had first come to Dunder Mifflin. He remembered thinking that Pam had looked a little sullen. And then he remembered her confession of being hung over. It made sense.

"Why did he leave her?"

Phyllis leaned forward eagerly. "No one knows for sure. All we know is that one day she was wearing her wedding ring, the next day she wasn't."

The news hit Jim like a baseball bat, knocking all the wind out of him. His jaw went slack and he was pretty confident his eyes were the size of saucers.

"Are you alright dear? Your eyes are the size of saucers."

He coughed to clear his throat but it soon turned out to be a full blown coughing fit where he thought his lungs and all other internal organs would come flooding out on the table. Phyllis look flabbergasted and pushed his grape soda closer to him with her forefinger. He took it gratefully.

After he regained his composure, he looked at Phyllis. "Pam was married?"

She still seemed to be in shock over his temporary attack. "Well, not yet. But she was engaged. I do think the date was somewhere around this month. Apparently, he just picked up his stuff and left."

"Wow."

"And after eight years too. Poor thing."

"Eight years?" His eyes went wide again.

"Oh dear, did Pam tell you anything?"

Jim leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "No. No, she didn't tell me any of this." He thought quietly to himself for a moment. "I did walk in on her and Roy having a fight though, a couple weeks ago."

"What happened?"

"I'm not really sure. I came back from the grocery store and they were screaming at each other. I walked in and he said some things that I didn't really understand. And then he called her a, well, it doesn't really matter what he called her. She told him to get out."

Phyllis didn't miss the flash of anger that passed over Jim's face. She looked down at her coffee curiously.

"I guess it is really over this time then."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Roy and Pam have had fights in the past. Pretty bad, from what I've heard. Apparently he had an affinity for women not named Pam. But she always seemed to take him back."

"Huh."

Phyllis looked at his slouched form for a second, unsure if her next comment would be appropriate or not. She decided to go ahead and say it. The boy needed to hear something encouraging.

"Good riddance I say. That Roy was never good enough for her, she deserves a nice man. Someone who appreciates her for who she is."

"Yeah," Jim muttered as he stood up, clearing his things. "She does."

He shuffled past her to the door and walked out. Phyllis frowned as he left. Stupid boy, he didn't understand that the person Pam needed most was him.

-

Jim walked into the apartment, careful to shut the door quietly behind him. All of Phyllis's comments were still swimming in his mind. Pam was engaged?

He was so engrossed in his thoughts; he was startled when Pam sat up from the sofa.

"Hey." She said groggily. Her hair was in a side ponytail and tissues were scattered about the couch and coffee table. He gave her a tight smile and walked over, sitting on the edge of the couch.

"How was work?" She asked as she rubbed her forehead.

"The usual. Did you eat at all today? You look weak still."

She did look weak but she did seem to have more color than the morning. He put his hand to her forehead again and it seemed to be cooler. She smiled softly at his touch. She took his hand and removed it with hers.

"I'm okay. I had a couple cookies for lunch."

"Cookies? You aren't supposed to eat cookies when you are sick. I'll make you some soup."

He got up and bustled towards the kitchen, removing his jacket and throwing it on one of the barstools. She sighed and rested her head on the back of the couch, watching his as he moved about gracefully, pulling various objects from cabinets.

"Food repulses me."

She watched as he chuckled. "You have to eat."

"Give me cookies."

He pulled the bowl from the microwave and walked over to her, handing her the steaming liquid. She cupped it in her hands.

"Ooh, warm." She smiled.

She put the spoon in her mouth and made a face of disgust. He laughed. They sat in silence before he decided to bring up the issue plaguing his mind.

"So, I talked to Phyllis today."

Pam smiled up at him. "I like Phyllis."

"Me too. We talked at lunch and she told me some interesting stuff."

"Oh? About what?"

He paused, playing with the frayed edge of her blanket. "About how you were engaged to Roy."

Pam paused, her spoon halfway to her mouth and looked surprised. She lowered the spoon to the bowl. He looked at her earnestly.

"Pam-"

"I don't want to discuss this." There was a hardness in her voice he had never heard before. She swirled the soup around in her bowl.

"But Pam-"

"Jim." She looked up at him with stern eyes. "I do not want to talk about this."

"This isn't just going to go away."

She looked back down at her soup, still playing with the spoon. "Why not?"

"Because this is important."

"No, actually, it's not." There was a color rising in her cheeks. "He left me. I was sad. I got over it. It's done."

"No Pam, it isn't done. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because."

"Because why? You didn't think I needed to know?" He could feel his own anger rising. He had thought their friendship had meant enough to her that he would be told information of this size. That she could trust him enough to confide in him.

"No, Jim, I didn't think you needed to know." Her voice raised and it came out in raspy squeaks, as it was strained from her sickness. "There is no purpose to you knowing about my almost marriage. It isn't like we are in a relationship and you need to know every detail about me."

Jim looked at her steadily and Pam knew immediately that she had hurt him. His jaw was set and his eyes were cold.

He stood up and looked away. Her anger melted. "Jim-"

"No." He walked around the couch and picked up his messenger bag. "You're right."

He strode out the door, slamming it shut behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

Pam stared at the door with wide eyes, her soup now cold in her lap. He had left and she was alone, sitting on her couch alone, again. She could feel the familiar fearful feeling clawing at her chest.

She was chewing on her lip and fighting off sleep. She was exhausted, in every sense of the word. Her heart felt like it had just been pummeled, her body was sore from fighting off sickness, and her mind was tired of trying to constantly figure things out.

She blinked open her heavy eye lids and forced herself into an uncomfortable position. She wasn't going to fall asleep. She would wait for him to come back.

She would wait for him to come home.

It was almost two o' clock in the morning when the door opened slowly. She sat up and ran a hand through her hair nervously.

Jim came in and looked mildly surprised to see her still awake. He closed the door and leaned his back up against it, shutting his eyes and letting out a heavy sigh. She twisted her hands nervously in her lap, unsure of what to say.

Soon he opened them and mustered a small smile. "I'm sorry."

She raised her eyebrows. Not what she was expecting.

"What?"

"I shouldn't have pushed you like that and gotten angry." He scratched at the base of his neck, pushing back a yawn. "You're right. You didn't have to tell me. We don't have a relationship."

She felt a pang in her heart and looked down at her hands. "You shouldn't be the one apologizing."

"What?"

"I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I was just surprised."

"You didn't want me to know that bad?" His said with a slight comical air, his hands shoved in his pants pockets, his legs crossed at the ankles.

She looked up and met his eyes briefly before focusing on one of the pictures that hung on the wall. "It wasn't that. I just was trying to forget it. You know?"

"Yeah, I know." He said in a half-whisper, the smile sliding from his features.

They stood in an awkward silence for a few minutes before Jim pushed his body off of the door and shuffled closer to her.

"Well, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

He gave her another strained half smile before walking over to his room. She forced the question in her mind out before she could lose confidence.

"So are we okay?"

"Always." He didn't even turn around.

-

Jim crashed onto his bed and looked up at the ceiling. He could hear her, still outside in the living room. She was pacing back and forth. He knew he was being cold. But it was the only way to protect himself. After her short outburst it was obvious she didn't see him in any special light. She didn't see a future involving them as a couple.

She saw him as someone to tell her there were no ghosts under her bed. She saw him as someone who made her soup when she was sick and comforted her when she was sad.

Funny, some consider those things acts of love.

He pushed the thought out of his head and rolled over in his bed, letting out a groan.

She didn't see him at all. She didn't see the way he looked at her. She didn't see the love he knew was in his eyes. He was just a person.

He had to be cold. It was the only way. He couldn't be this close to her and not have her. It would kill him.

-

Jim walked into the kitchen, giving Pam a small smile as he shuffled to the fridge and ducked into it, searching for the orange juice.

"So, are you still up for the art festival in town today?"

Jim froze in the fridge, his hand resting on the orange juice. Damn it, he forgot. Him and Pam were supposed to go to the Scranton Art Festival in one of the community parks today. It featured art from all sorts of artists. Young, old, beginners, experts; they had it all. Pam was so excited when he had showed her the ad in the paper.

He had a fleeting moment of panic. There was no way he could go to the fair with her. He couldn't tell himself he wouldn't care and spend an entire day with her.

He straightened his back and looked at her, swallowing.

"Actually," he ruffled his hair absently. "I'm not going to be able to go."

Her face visibly fell and he fought the pang of guilt stabbing his heart. This was necessary, this was necessary, this was necessary.

"Oh." She looked down again. "Why?"

"Uh, my brother, Jonathan, he, uh, called last night when I left. And I'm supposed to meet him for lunch."

"Oh, well why don't you both come. I want to meet him." She smiled up at him, resting her chin in her hand.

He looked at her with wide eyes. He felt like he was about to throw up everything. Organs, emotions, hopes, and dreams. Everything. Apparently, lying to her was more difficult than it looked.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Her face fell again and he averted his eyes.

"Oh. Okay."

"I mean, I almost never see him and-"

"You don't want to waste time with me while you have him here."

Her voice was so broken and hurt he wanted to slam his head against the edge of the counter and crawl up into a ball on the floor. He couldn't do this. He couldn't deliberately hurt her.

But he had to. He had to stay cold. He couldn't go places with her and watch her laugh and be happy and have her grasp at his hand and know she couldn't be his.

The internal struggle was starting to weigh heavily on him.

"I would if I could."

-

Jim left around noon, giving her another apology on his way out. She had told him it was fine, she would go by herself and see if she could find any new stuff for the apartment.

He had smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. She knew he was still hurt from last night but she didn't know how to fix it.

It was different between them and she didn't like it.

She wanted things to go back. She wanted him to make her soup. She wanted him to hold her hand and tell her there are no ghosts. She wanted him to buy her animal crackers and drive her to work.

She wanted him.

She loved him.

Understandably enough, after that revelation, she decided the art festival wasn't the most productive use of her time. She dug out the paints that had been sitting in her closet for months, untouched, and spread them out around her on the floor.

She sat cross-legged in front of a large, white bed sheet and tapped the handle of the brush against her mouth. She wanted to paint. She closed her eyes and just tried to feel it, the way she used to. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, a small smile on her face.

She was startled out of her reverie when Jim walked in and threw his jacket across a bar stool, sitting down and opening one of the newspapers. He didn't even seem to realize Pam was watching him from her position on the floor with her paints surrounding her.

She squinted her eyes in confusion. "What are you doing back?"

He jumped in shock, swinging his body in his seat to face her. She was pretty sure his eyebrows were going to disappear in his hairline.

"Why aren't you at the festival?" His voice cracked and he coughed.

"I decided not to go. Why aren't you at lunch with your brother?"

"Oh, uh." He fumbled with his hands and his eyes darted back and forth quickly. She took a sharp intake of breath and her eyes went wide.

"There wasn't any lunch, was there?"

She climbed up off the floor and carefully put down her brush, still untouched by color. Jim followed her with his eyes, swallowing nervously. She crossed her arms in front of him and put all her weight on one leg.

"Was there?"

He jumped again at her voice.

"No?"

"You aren't sure?"

"No, there was no lunch."

There was a silence where he met her eyes and she searched his. She uncrossed her arms and her chest deflated, her eyes welling up. He felt the urge to slam his head against ceramic again.

"Why did you lie to me?"

He didn't answer, just looked down at her sock covered feet. He wanted to laugh because they didn't match and it was just so her and adorable. But he figured that would be inappropriate.

"Jim?" He almost wished her voice was loud and demanding, rather than sad, confused, and hurt.

"Because-" His own voice surprised him by being quietly forceful.

"Because why Jim?"

"Because I didn't want to go to the fair with you."

She averted her eyes from his and looked up at the ceiling. He could see that she was willing herself not to cry. "You could have just told me that."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"Too late." She whispered, more to herself than him. She looked back down at him and set her jaw, biting the inside of her cheek. She couldn't stand the way he was looking at her.

"I'm just-" She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb as a few tears leaked from her eyes and cascaded down, landing silently on the wood floor. "I'm just going to go to my room."

She took a few steps backwards, giving him an awkward smile that looked more like a grimace, before turning and making her way to her room, chin dropping to her chest.

"Pam-"

She didn't stop and she could hear him get up from the bar stool and do a half-jog to where she was. He grabbed her hand and tugged it gently. She stopped, electricity flowing through her body.

"Ask me why I didn't want to go."

He intertwined his fingers with her own and stepped in front of her. She bit her trembling lip.

"I think I already know."

She was looking at the ground and he used his free hand to touch her chin and tilt it up until she met his eyes.

"Ask me." He whispered.

"Why didn't you want to go to the fair with me?"

"I didn't want to go to the fair with you because I am currently trying to convince myself that I do not love you." Pam's eyes widened slightly. He gave her a small smile. "When I found out about you and Roy, I thought you didn't tell me because you didn't trust me. And when you said we didn't have a relationship I had thought that meant you didn't care anything for me. I was convinced that you didn't see me at all. So I told myself I would become cold and separate myself completely. Because I can't be around you without this feeling, here."

He took their intertwined fingers and placed them over his heart. "But, right now, seeing you hurt because I didn't go out with you, I am convinced that you feel more than nothing towards me."

She was staring at their hands folded together over his heart and he seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"Tell me I didn't misunderstand things. Tell me that when you see me, you feel the same things I do. Tell me that when you look in my eyes, you just know and you feel safe. Tell me-"

He stopped, his voice breaking. She slowly moved her eyes from their hands to the green orbs looking at her anxiously.

"Tell me I didn't misunderstand."

She paused, her mouth opening and closing in silence. She swallowed and then a small smile spread across her features.

"You didn't misunderstand."


	8. Chapter 8

This chapter came as a bit of a challenge because recently, the universe seems to be aligning to make my life a living hell. And being in the constant negative mood hasn't really inspired me to write fluffness. But your reviews make me happy and what improves a mood, if not Jim and Pam. Thanks for sticking with me.

-

"You didn't misunderstand."

Her eyes slipped from his to their hands over his heart. She literally felt it skip a beat. She spread her fingers out and traced her index finger back and forth gently. She could feel him gaping at her.

"I think-" She swallowed, focused intently on the composition of his t-shirt, taking a step closer. "I think it was a little bit at a time. When you first came in and smiled, the animal crackers, sharing your bed, you remembering I'm allergic to strawberries, buying me cookies. I think it was a little bit at a time."

He closed his eyes for a second, willing his heart to slow down. "I think it was the same for me." He whispered, opening his eyes again and looking down at her. She didn't meet his gaze, her forefinger still tracing his heart meticulously. "When you sat across me with jellybeans, the teapot, your hair in the moonlight, that smile you get when you are painting."

She stopped tracing his heart and looked up slowly.

"You watched me paint?"

He felt like he should blush but he didn't. "You left the door open to your room. You thought I was asleep. The window was open and there was this incredibly soft breeze and you were just sitting there. You were facing the window and there was a canvas in front of you and you closed your eyes, taking this deep breath, and I just thought you-"

She kissed him then, her lips meeting his softly, and her hand on his heart. He swallowed his sentence and found her hips, tugging her closer and wrapping his arms around her possessively.

She tasted like summer, or some beautiful day, just like he thought she would. Cherries and lemonade and birthday cake. The thought made his head spin and a smile begin.

She pulled away, closing her eyes and leaning her forehead against his chin. He ran his hands up and down her back gently.

"I'm glad you didn't go to the art show with me." She said into his chest.

He pulled her away at arms length and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Really? Is that why you were going to your room to cry a few minutes ago?"

She hit him playfully on the chest, leaning into him and laughing. "No, that wasn't too fun. But if you did go with me, things would still be the same."

He looked her in the eye. "And what would that be?"

"Uh." Her eyes drifted from his eyes to his lips. She licked hers subconsciously. He didn't fail to notice. "I think it might have involved us being together."

"Mmhmm." He muttered in agreement as her face leaned closer to his.

"But not actually being together, you know?" She brushed her lips gently across his, slowly. His eyes fluttered shut and he reached for her hip, squeezing lightly.

"And I would think about kissing you. But probably wouldn't do it. Because-" She kissed him lightly on the corner of his mouth.

"I would be too afraid." She kissed his nose. His other hand found her ribcage.

"And now?" He whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

"Now-" She kissed the other corner of his mouth before pulling back, her hands on his shoulders. He opened his eyes to see her grinning brightly at him. "Now we can go to the art show together."

He groaned slightly, letting his head fall into her hair.

-

"Why didn't you submit any of your stuff?"

They were looking at a small stand of forest paintings, Jim's arm wrapped lightly around her waist. He was making a face she had never seen on him before, his eyes squinting in confusion.

"Your stuff is ten times better than bambi here."

"Jim!"

She tugged away from him, swatting him on the chest. She sneaked a look up to the elderly lady whose stand it was. She didn't seem to hear him.

He laughed and pulled her back to him by her hips. "What? You cannot seriously think this is good. I mean, this isn't art Pam."

"Jim, the woman is going to hear you."

He rolled his eyes, tugging gently on her belt loops. "I highly doubt the woman who almost whacked me with her cane can hear a word I'm saying about her art."

Pam chuckled in spite of herself. The woman did seem to take an instant disliking to Jim and her painting did seem to resemble some awkward John Deere ad.

"You have got to be quiet."

He met her gaze and raised an eyebrow. "Make me."

She forced back a smile and tilted her head up to his. "Oh really?" She put both her hands on his chest and pressed her body flush against his. She watched his Adam's Apple bob as he swallowed, all trace of a smile gone.

"And how do you suggest I do that?" She walked her fingers up to his neck where she wrapped her arms around him. She felt his hands encircle her waist.

"Oh, I have a couple ideas."

"Really?" She smiled.

"Mmhmm." He traced small circles on the bare patch of skin between the hem of her shirt and the waist of her jeans.

"Would it involve this?" She leaned forward and captured his lips with her own, kissing him hard. She felt him gasp into her mouth before he responded, kissing her back, bringing her closer.

They heard an obnoxious cough next to them. They pulled away from each other and Jim turned his head to regard the old woman, looking at the pair coldly.

Jim gave her a cheeky grin and pulled Pam into his hip.

"She's my girlfriend."

-

The door to the apartment banged open, swinging back hard and knocking a picture off the wall. Pam laughed out loud as Jim's mouth found her neck. He kicked the door shut behind him.

"I mean, was it necessary for you to kiss me like that in front-"

He cut her off with a kiss and she let out a small groan. He pushed off her jacket and went back to assaulting her neck. She fought to remember her train of thought. "Uh, In- in front of those kids. They look horrified. And the parents didn't seem too enthused. It was bordering on profane."

"I didn't see you complaining." He said next to her ear, biting it gently. Her eyes fell shut and she gripped his biceps tightly.

"Uh, well-" She let out a small gasp as he found the spot behind her ear. Her hands skimmed down his front to the bottom of his shirt where she tugged impatiently. "I'm not one for complaining. I'm a team player."

"Really?" He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it behind him. His hands skimmed over her shoulders, pushing off her sweater.

"Really. Although, some might say-" He kissed her collarbone as he unbuttoned her blouse slowly, his fingers trailing down her skin, causing her to shiver. "Some might say you are taking advantage of me Halpert."

He froze, his mouth on her jaw. He pulled away and she thought she had never seen anything more beautiful than his hair askew and lips swollen.

She looked at him in confusion, panting slightly. "What?"

He scratched the back of his neck absently, letting do of her hips. "Pam, I-" He looked away.

She put her hand on his cheek and turned him so he faced her. "What?"

"I'm not taking advantage of you. I wouldn't do anything unless I thought that you were okay with it. And I though that, uh, you were-" He gestured between them with his hands. Something Pam thought was oddly hilarious considering he was shirtless and she was halfway there herself.

"I thought you were onboard here."

"Onboard? What, are we out to sea captain?"

He gave her a look and she let the smile slip off her features. She tugged him towards her by his belt loops.

She draped her arms over his shoulders. She looked him square in the eye so he wouldn't misinterpret. That seemed to be an issue with them. "Jim. I want this. I want you."

He smiled and ran his hands up and down her rib cage. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss on the hollow of his throat. She moved to his lips and kissed him softly but his lips became more demanding, and she was nothing if not a team player.

She undid his belt and he slid his hands to the back of her knees, hoisting her up against him. She let out a giggle and he was pretty sure he had never heard anything more amazing than her laugh in the dark.

She wrapped her legs around his waist tightly and could feel the effect she was having on him. She shifted against him slightly causing him to let out a groan against her neck.

Pam leaned down to his ear, encircling his earlobe with her tongue. "Take me to bed."

"Aye aye, captain."

-

Jim woke up early, feeling content for the first time in months. He blinked his eyes open slowly and smiled as he saw Pam cuddled up close to him, her face covered in curls.

He pushed them away gently, careful not to wake her but her eyes blinked open and she smiled at him sleepily before her eyes closed shut again.

"G'morning."

He smiled and gently kissed her forehead. "Hey. How'd you sleep?"

She wiggled so that she could see his face and gave him an incredulous look. "When did that happen last night?"

He laughed and she draped her leg over his, stifling a yawn. He rubbed circles onto her exposed shoulder. "We should stay here all day."

Pam nodded in contentment, tucking her head into his chest. Jim closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh he had been holding in for moths now. Everything was how it was supposed to be. She was here. She was in his arms. She was his. Everything was as it should be.

"Jim?"

Her voice was slightly muffled against his chest. "Hm?"

She could feel the rumble of his voice through his chest. She balanced her chin on him and looked up. His eyes were closed.

"Me and Roy were together for eight years. Since high school. We were supposed to get married. We didn't."

He blinked open his eyes and looked down at her, confusion clouding his face. "Is this really the best time to be talking about your ex-fiancée? I mean, we are naked in your bed."

"I just-" She traced circles on his chest. "I just want you to know everything about me. I don't want you to have any doubts about this. About us."

"Pam." He took her forearms and pulled her up towards him so that she was completely on top of him. He circled his arms around her, holding her to him securely.

"I have no doubts. Not one. This is right. There will be time for the other things later." He kissed her softly on the lips.

She rested her head on his chest and he ran his hand up and down her bare back. She let out a sigh against his chest.

"I've never felt like this before." She whispered against his chest. "I just-" She didn't say his name. "It was different before. With you I feel full. I'm just happy, you know?"

He smiled and tangled his fingers into her hair.

"Yeah, I know."


End file.
